Small tricks

“Where can I meet XL?” asked Bahadur Singh to his office colleague. Seeing an opportunity to take Bahadur Singh for a ride the colleague replied “XL stays in snow clad mountain of Himalaya. All the meetings with XL are held there.” Believing in his colleague’s reply our friend Bahadur Singh started his preparation for visiting Himalaya. He was through with his shopping for winter garments, applied for leave from office, packed his bags and most important prepared a questionnaire listing all that he would like to ask XL.

The journey begins… Even while on the way, he was going through the questionnaire ensuring that he has not missed any and modifying the existing questions. First day in Himalaya, after getting ready he started search for XL. Asked a few of people “Where does XL stay here?” To his surprise everyone laughed at him. Aghast on the thought that his office colleague has fooled him, he remembered of Valmiki and thought of performing a similar act. XL, XL, XL he began chanting for a couple of days and finally an angel appeared. “Yes my little child, what do u want?” asked the angel. Bahadur Singh replied “I want to meet XL. Who are you?” “I am assistant to XL” said the Angel. “Since you have put in so much of effort I cannot deny your wish, but you will be allowed only two minutes meeting with him. This is because at any point of time there is someone somewhere in this world working with XL taking some acquisition decision, some punter playing in the stock market and making his calculation on XL, some accountants closing their accounts on XL, etc. Hence if XL were to be physically present with you, all these people will not be able to carry on their work or in other words XL will hang.” Bahadur Singh though not satisfied with the time replied “That will do”. “We shall meet in the morning tomorrow at 5 o’clock, same place” said the angel and disappeared.

Fortunately for me I was on Himalayan tour. Walking across early morning I saw our friend Bahadur Singh (BA) with his questionnaire. Exactly at 5.00 XL appeared. Given below is the verbatim transcription of discussion that I overheard. Hope this is useful to all of the readers.

BA: Good morning Sir.
XL: You have only two minutes. So please start with your questions.

BA: How do I change the default font of excel? Example, the moment I open a new sheet I should have ‘verdana’ as the font.
XL: Tools >> Options >> General (Tab) >> Standard Font (Select the font from drop down box)

BA: How do I remove all the Gridlines in Excel?
XL: Tools >> Options >> View (Tab) >> Gridlines (Check Box on bottom left of the screen)

BA: How do I decide the standard font size?
XL: Same as above. Look at right side of standard font.

BA: Whenever I open a excel file, I get three sheets by default. How do I change them to five sheets?
XL: Tools >> Options >> General (Tab) >> Sheets in new workbook (Select the number you want)

BA: How do I find a particular word in excel sheet and replace it with a new word? For example replace FY06 with FY07.
XL: Edit >> Replace or Ctrl+H

BA: When I click on File menu I get the latest four files opened. Can I change it to latest 8 files opened?
XL: Tools >> Options >> General (Tab) >> Recently used file list (Select the number you want)

BA: How do I remove unwanted toolbars and bring in some other toolbars?
XL: View >> Toolbars

BA: How do I change the content of a particular cell from horizontal to vertical?
XL: Format >> Cell >> Alignment (Tab) >> Orientation (On the extreme right)

BA: What is a macro and how do I write the same?
XL: Will take two months to explain the same and you have only one more minute.

BA: How do I cancel a particular word? i.e. I want to show that a word is there and then cancelled.
XL: Format >> Cell >> Font (Tab) >> Effects (Bottom left) >> Strikethrough (Check box)

BA: What about designing the excel cells with various colourful borders.
XL: Format >> Cell >> Border (Tab).

BA: How to save an excel file automatically?
XL: Tools >> Add-Ins >> AutoSave (Checkbox)

BA: When my database is very huge thousands of rows and hundreds of columns, what facility do I have to view it easily so that column and row headers are always available on the screen?
XL: Windows >> Freeze Panes. Last 30 seconds.

BA: What is a pivot table and its usage? (I think he was not able to resist himself)
XL: Last 30 seconds and not 30 days dear.

BA: How do I attach a password to excel file so that no one can open it without a password?
XL: File >> Save as >> Options (Button on the right hand side). Good bye…

BA: Last question… How do I insert a comment in excel cell?
XL: Insert >> Comment. Good bye dear…

BA: One final question… How to solve other questions?
XL: Use F1 or come to Himalyas!!!

Well that was end of two minute. In case any of you visit Himalaya please ensure to carry forward this discussion, though it would require a couple of days of meditation!!!